Category: Elder Folk
I just found out today a friend of mine who resides in another town, will be going to a nursing home in ten days, and another friend, who lives in the same town, has uterine cancer. These friends are not much older than i.
And so it happens again. These rapid changes. One moment, I was going with them on excursions, visiting in their homes, getting into trouble, and now, just like that, rapid changes are taking place. Last year, when I visited them, we had no idea this year would turn out so differently. Now, the fellowship and visits we shared are fragments, memories, time stowed away in the corridors of my mind. Now, the past seems more vivid than ever. Now, I ask myself, "Is this what it's all about?" Can it be this is part of the aging process? Is time imploding on itself?
It is so ironic. One minute, we're young, wanting to be older, and the next moment, we're older wanting to be younger.
Can it be that these rapid changes are getting us ready for the stahges in our lives that we all must go through? Can it be that rapid changes, and conforming to the circumstances we find ourselves in is just part of living? A silly question maybe. But sometimes I want to get off the merry-go-round, slow time down, take control of situations, tell time that it must wait for my permission before life throws another surprise in my lap.
But, no matter how I try, rapid changes still occur. . Our children can't comprehend them, can't grasp the sudden intrusion on their world,and like us, they too must grapple with their own mortality. And someday, when our children look at us, they too will have to confront rapid changes. The cycles of life never stop. Births and deaths, and the stages in-between still take place. It is so strange how I never think of things happening like this. Still, I know the rapid changes I encounter everyday are so subtle. A gray hair here, a little more weight there, an ake somewhere else. But, rapid changes have made me wiser, made me more patient with those around me, and have made me appreciate the things I used to take for granted.
Well said. I think that as young people we tended to think of ourselves as invincable. As we get older, we become aware that we are not. Not too different from the againg process itself. Each of these changes brings with it new challenges, but new opportunities as well. They also bring lessons we need to learn that life throws our way. I didn't say hands us, because the things life hands us we can somehow accept, but the things life throws us are different in the upheaval they create.
Lou
Sharon, you have a nack for putting some of my worst thoughts into a kinder light. Whilst I rant about getting older, you make it almost sound poetic. That's quite a talent, and thanks for sharing it with us.
Bob
Hi Lou and Bobby. Well, I was so overwhelmed by the news of my friends' predicaments. It was so unexpected. My oldest son is a lost soul, and he too is almost upon another decade in his life. Rapid changes are starting to happen to him also, but his are premature. Still, he tries to capture the esnce of his youth. Unfortunately, time is running out for him. His drug use, and the lifestyle and the consequences following the way he's lived are causing him to be old before his time.
I know I sound negative as far as he's concerned, but I worry about him, should I pass before he does. My other son is a survivor, and will deal with the rapid changes in his life in his own good time. But this other son will not, unless he changes his concept of reality.
It's like this year. It's going by so fast. Sept. will come, then Oct. then Thanksgiving, Christmas, and another year will begin, another cycle will begin, and once again, someone I know, or it might be me, will find themselves facing the unknown valley of death. Time used to pass so slowly, and now, it flies by. That's why I said it was imploding on itself.
Thank you for your posts. I love discussions like this.
Well, Sharon, here's sending prayers/positive thoughts to you and your eldest son. I hope he finds his path so he's better equipped to deal with what fate sends his way. I agree with Bob about the way in which you write. If I had eyes, they'd be green right now. <g>.
Lou
Hi dream lady,
yes, it seems the older we get, the quicker time goes. I can remember when my mom turned 50, I said, wow mom, you are half a century old. now, I will be 50 in a bit less than 2 years, though I do't feel like it, a half a century old. I think it's bad when changes happen too rapidly. we have less time to get use to them, not that changes wouldn't make us sad, but, if the changes are slower, at least we'd have more time to prepare for them.
wonderwoman
Well, hi guys. I just found out my brother-in-law whom I'm extremely close to, has a possible blood clot. I've known this man for 48 years. That's a long time. If only I could embrace the time we had ten years ago. Still, I have to think positively, believe the best will happen, despite these rapid changes.
Sharon, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law. It has been really interesting with my mother in the nursing home. I've ben watching her decline, and trying to struggle with her dminished cognitive ability, hearing and vision. We'll be at meetings, or I'll be trying to explain things to her, and maybe because of the way I've been treated, I'm trying not to sound patronizing while doing the best job I can of keeping her informed.
Lou
My sister is 3 years older than me and lost her husband 7 years ago from cancer. she has never been the same. she used to help me with my affairs and enjoyed doing it; now she could care less and my nephew has power of attorney for me if anything happens health-wise. I wish she was what she used to be but all her kids say that will never happen. I actually had to get a lawyer to help me straighten out my deed and get her off all paperwork of mine. I just kept her in my will so when i die she can't contest anything. She is so greedy with money it's pitiful and since she lives 400 miles from me she really knows nothing of what goes on in my life. I think when you are older and life changes so drastically, it's harder to deal with. I somewhat pray for the best although my faith has gone way down since all the tragedy.
Hi Bea and everyone: I'm sorry to hear that your sister has lost her husband and is having trouble with coping in the same way she used to be able to. It seems the older I get the harder it is to handle life's throws and time is moving so much faster than the younger days that used to stretch out in yawning chasms before me. I think though that I grow mellower with age and can handle some things with less emotional reaction from the hip than I used to.
Yes I am sadden by every ones losses as well. It leads me to ask this question, is it because we spend so much time just to provide for our children, family or just ourselves that we loose track of time? I work hard, and the weekends fly by so fast. is this a possibility? We can't stop the aging process but I wonder sometimes why we have to live so fast as far as just to survive.
Brian, I think you're right. Hi Bea. I'm so sorry about your mom. We put my mom in a nursing home a year and a half before she died. It was tough. I'm so glad to have this board. I know you all know about rapid changes. Thank God for the zone, and I thank God I've made you as my friends. We'll get through these rapid changes together.
Forgot to mention my sister uses drugs; if a doctor prescribes her to take 1 pill of whatever she takes four. Church where she lives seems to keep her halfway stable but when I go up there for Thanksgiving I will see how sound she is or isn't mentally. Sorry to say if she is nasty or hard to be around, i will never visit her again. but I would like to keep some semblance of a relationship with her because both parents are dead and she is the only sister I have. Trying to do the right things in this mess. Had to retire from work because of technology knocking out medical transcription pretty well, but after 38 and a half years worth of saving money and with social security income now kicking in, that is one way I have been blessed. i try to keep that in mind. Good luck to all of us in this fast moving world.